Meltdown

What to do when the wheels fall off…yeah, that’s what happened this weekend.

Last week sucked. Big time. I was just so very, very tired.

As a full time worker I was tired in that way you are right before your first real holiday in 6 months.

As a runner I was tired in that way you are at the peak of marathon training.

As a parent I was tired in the way you are when it’s your child’s last week of the school term.

I was tired because I had every reason to be. So I tried to do what I know I should in these situations – relaaaax, don’t sweat the small stuff, get to bed earlier. You know, the usual.

But it’s hard to relax when you have to go to your kids open night in the middle of the week, or when you have to squeeze in a really long run before work, or when your sister-in-law springs a last minute birthday party for your nephew on you.

Plus I am so goddamn sick of going to bed early!!

It’s obvious looking back that I’d had enough, and it resulted in what I can only describe as a meltdown. I yelled, I cried, I ranted. Like a tired child who won’t go to bed I was simply furious at real life for getting in my way.

So I blew off my Sunday long run (and the birthday party – but that was okay, my mother took my daughter along instead and everyone was fine with it) and got down to the serious business of doing absolutely nothing.

What really worked, and what I really needed, was to give myself permission to have a complete break. At the time I felt so naughty, as though I were staying up till dawn at a party I wasn’t supposed to be at.

lazy-homer

In reality I was beached on the couch with a vodka in one hand and the remote in the other.

I didn’t go out on Saturday night as planned, I didn’t do my strength exercises, I didn’t do the shopping.

I just did whatever I wanted to do. Like reading for hours, playing Angry Birds waaaaay too much, soaking in the bath till I was a wrinkly prawn, catching up on a few movies then moving right on to rewatching Breaking Bad from the very beginning.

walt

Yes I know that’s pretty much the only program I mention these days, but I tend to binge-watch things. Soon it will be something else, I promise.

And you know what? Apart from really enjoying myself, I realised something: it had been a loooong time since I had done this. Months, and not just a few months either. There has not been a full weekend since before March this year that I have not had something on, something I felt I had to do.

I’d been so busy I hadn’t even noticed.

Obviously the peak point of marathon training is not the best time to take a weekend off, but I think it will be okay. There are 4 weeks left till the marathon, and as I have done this before I don’t need to taper as long as a newbie might, so technically I have a week up my sleeve. A week in which I am about to go away on holidays. Seeing as running is something I really enjoy doing when I have a break, I will do more then, when I can, instead of now, when I can’t.

walt jesse

 The running will be judiciously interspersed with copious amounts of BB obviously

Because I don’t want to end up freaking out Dear Hubby with another weekend like the one just gone. He’s good, but not that good. (Actually, he probably is.)

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