Does it sometimes seem as though running has caused this to happen to your brain?
Poor hubby, he’s in there somewhere
Never fear! I have spent some time studying the pros and cons of Runnitis* (no, that’s not some severe gastrointestinal disorder, it’s my sciency term for being addicted to running) and I have come up with this super professional quiz to check your level of infection. So grab a pen…
…and some Allens Party Mix…
…and let’s work out your level of running mania.
1 point each – Have you ever:
- Gone to the store intending to buy a present for your best friends baby shower but left with a new sports bra?
- Gone shopping for a laptop bag and returned home with new sneakers?
- Gone online to read the paper and somehow signed up for a race you hadn’t even heard of before?
- Eaten more than your husband and children put together at a breakfast buffet?
- Used the bottom filing cabinet drawer of your desk at work as a ‘snackbox’ because the top drawer wasn’t big enough?
- Gone on a girl’s day out to a Spa retreat with your girlfriends and wondered if it’s considered rude to ask the masseuse to stick their elbow in your butt to release your piriformis muscle?
- Decided it IS rude so instead you ask your husband to do it?
Take 5 extra points if
a) your husband doesn’t even blink when you ask him to do this
Take 5 more points if
b) your husband actually does it
For 2 points – Do all your books have the word ‘run’ in the title?
For 2 points – Do you have a tupperware container of tiny safety pins leftover from being used on race bibs that you don’t know what to do with but can’t throw out because you might need them. (Okay, that one might just be me being a hoarder)
For 1 point – Do you look forward to a hot bubble bath more than a 5 year old kid does?
1-5 points – You do know this is a running blog? I suppose it is possible you are just here for the stunning race day selfies of me looking all sweaty, red-faced and clumsy. If so, carry on.
6-11 points – Low level infection, could do better.
Practice saying these terms until you develop full blown Runnitis:
PB, taper, fartlek, tempo run, zero drop, bonk, negative split, VO2 max.
12-15 points – Slightly feverish. Level 2-3 infection.
You are SO close. Did you realise that if you run more it means you have a really good excuse to spend all Sunday afternoon laying on the couch alternating between eating peanut M&M’s and chicken flavoured potato chips, meanwhile using your 11 year old child as your own personal butler?
16-22 points – You are currently wearing compression tights and drinking Powerade.
A certain funky odour has developed in your tshirts so you always smell as though you’ve just returned from a run.
You no longer need an alarm to wake at 5am to get in an ‘easy 15k’ before work.
Congratulations, you have Level 5 Runnitis.
25+ points – You can’t add up properly, have you just finished a long run? If so, go take a nice Epsom Salts bath and retake the quiz once you have finished foam rolling your IT band.
*No, there’s no cure. What do you want to be cured of Runnitis for? Are you insane?